so i had my first opportunity to use my daily mood logs to help curb my negative thinking.
its actually something thats been eating at me for about a month. long story short: a friend’s family member was on a visit from across the big pond and was here for a month! woo! her last visit, we bonded during a three day trip around the Ring of Kerry, it was fantastic. so this trip, i knew it was going to be more intimate and much more time spent with the family at home than on the go with me in tow. so i prepared myself to not see much of my friend or her family member but atleast see them a few times here and there.
oh, also, my friend had previously asked me to help decorate her sons room prior to her family member’s visit.
cut to almost two weeks into her visit and no text or call or email asking me to come over, so i just sent out a text to feel the waters and was happily replied to with an invite the following sunday morning for a few hours. i did go and we caught up and discussed the sons room being decorated the following weekend while he was at a sleep over. excellent, we sorted out details and as they would be busy during the week, they would text me neared the end of the week with details. now i did get a tinge of maybe we kinda want to do this on our own as a family thing but we dont know how to say, dont come over, vibe so when i didnt receive a text or anything i just let it pass as they would rather i not be there. that was fine with me. i was prepared for that outcome.
but then i didnt hear from them until the middle of the next week, thats cool. i was again invited for a sunday meeting and was advised that anytime before 5pm would be good as they were going out for dinner. so i text sunday morning to say i was just hanging out some laundry and going to hope in the shower and would be there for 1pm…cut to one cat shitting all over my kitchen floor and carpeted stairs and having to scrub everything..i cant handle the thought of missing one little spec of poop somewhere. so i had to delay and said id be there for 2 instead. only to be told they were going out for 3 and so it wouldnt be worth my coming over for just an hour and that they would get back to me in the next few days..it being sunday and she was going home on the coming wednesday.
the next time i heard from them it was tuesday evening and was told they would be too busy to see me before she left.
so here i am, freaked out. jumping to many conclusions. ridiculous ones now that i have the facts. i actually brought myself to tears thinking that our friendship was over and neither of them wanted anything to do with me, mixed with anger and frustration at being completely left out.
not wanting to cast a shadow on their last few days together i decided i would talk to my friend after the easter weekend but she beat me to the punch. she emailed me sunday and basically said that they felt i was putting out the vibe of disinterest in spending time with them! what a cracker!
not surprising now that i look back without my tinted spectacles and see what really was going on instead of making assumptions about everything being said or not said. jeeeeeeez, what a trip. so we had our cry and laughed and all is well and im a believer in challenging faulty thinking! down with negativity!
seriously, i was even going so far as to tell myself i was a terrible person. for what?
mood, logged. situation, handled. friendships, saved! negative thoughts, slowly being conquered.
i can do it.
~the hook xxxo