mishmashmeshmayim

my mind is all over the place today.

i feel really alone today.  just woke up with this distant feeling. is it loneliness or am i just homesick?
moving away from friends and family to a place where its so difficult to meet new people and your husband’s family dont act anything like your own family can be destructive, emotionally.
i didnt realize it 5 years ago, but its hitting me now.
dont get me wrong, i love Ireland with all of my heart and most of me never wants to leave. i love living here. i love the way of life here, the slowness of it. im lucky to live in a smaller town on the west coast which hasnt been hit too hard by the rat race of the big cities.
i dont know.

also, i am meant to visit a friend and her family who is visiting from Utah, today.
im not feeling it at all. theyre just different people.
of course theyre lovely people and im being highly judgemental. theyre easy to be around which is just what i need today. but sometimes their realities just dont mesh with mine and i find myself daydreaming of smashing their heads against the wall :)

get over yourself, lady.

take a breath and get outside.

Love yourself.

the hook oxoox

p.s. i have rediscovered my crush on Mayim Bialik and how  much im inspired by her. she is awesome! i love how shes not completely conformed to the life of a hollywood/tv star. i love that she turned down yale and harvard. i love that she has integrity.

shes the role model young girls should have.